Monday, May 14, 2012

...what my broken heart screams...

when you let others stay, you kicked me out
why couldn't you let me stay?
did you love me not at all?
was i not enough to keep?
you dismantled, left for dead a heart...
was i not worth the time to repair?
why was the love i gave...
everything i had not enough?
slighted, diminished and dusted off...
that's what my heart's blood was to you?
why couldn't you try?
when i invested every breath and drop...
you used it, broke it, ran away.
why did you run?
why the wall?
am i so belittled to be cut off so completely?
is that what i'm worth to you?
blocked, treated like i don't exist...
just some girl you don't know...
insulted, mocked and shot while down...
do you even know?
can you possibly imagine how diminished...
all of me?
was i not enough?
why did you not even try?
is your capacity only to hurt and run?
look me in the eye, tell me why.
this heart demands to know
why it wasn't enough...
when it was everything you asked and more.
my broken heart screams....
it screams for you.
in silence, with no answer.

Friday, May 4, 2012

...turns out...

turns out i love me enough
to turn away from the lies.
turns out i am strong enough
to leave less than what i deserve.
turns out i survive just fine
on my own.

turns out i am better
than you even knew.
turns out the anger in me
is consuming everything.
turns out i am strong enough
to dream of love that's real.

turns out you never
really treasured me.
turns out you consumed
love that could have saved you.
turns out you lost it all
when you turned me into a joke.

turns out you never
knew what you had til it was gone
turns out you turned
on me, made me a mockery.
turns out that wasn't fair
when i loved you so

turns out who i loved
left a scar
turns out who i loved
broke me
turns out who i loved
couldn't hold
turns out who i loved...
i loved.

turns out...
i'll never be the same
turns out
there are wounds
turns out
those wounds are worse
turns out
they're worse than any other wound
turns out
turns out....
i still love.
turns out....
i was right about that.
turns out....